Question 6, what new step can you take today?
Our brain and heart are so connected to each other and without us realizing it we often react to unconscious signals that may not be right at all. Which means we can no longer think clearly and calmly, or be open to another perspective. Our heart can even be connected to the brains of others, which can confuse your emotional life. Which feelings are yours and which are someone else's?
Being creative can help you gain more insight into your emotional life. When you paint and talk, the brain and heart work together and harmony is created. You start to see “the big picture”, so to speak. New insights present themselves and contacts can change because you experience yourself and someone else more from a place of harmony. I did not learn at school that paintings and drawings can provide so much insight and peace, unfortunately, the older we get, the emphasis is on other knowledge; more reason, less feeling. I vaguely remember the time when I was allowed to play and dance and that there was a place in our living room where I was allowed to draw. And that no one paid attention to me. I felt free and drew without shame. Until I went from a child to a girl and I became aware that there was an inner world and an outer world with expectations and judgments. Which ensured that my heart could be touched incredibly hard. I withdrew into my shell and it was only when I became a mother that I realized 'it is time to come out'. I do not want to pass on this energy. A process began from unconsciously incompetent to consciously competent life. Which made me stand firm; firmly rooted. As depicted in this tree of life that I made myself.
Drawing a tree of life can have different purposes depending on the context. In general, the tree of life symbolizes growth, connection, and balance between different aspects of life, such as the past, present, and future. The purpose of drawing a tree of life can be:
1. Self-reflection and personal growth: The Tree of Life can help you visualize your life path, with the roots symbolizing your past and origins, and the branches representing your goals and dreams.
2. Connection to family and ancestors: In some cases, the tree of life symbolizes the family system, with the roots representing the ancestors and the branches representing the current and future generations.
3. Peace and meditation: Drawing a tree of life can be a form of meditation or mindfulness, where you focus on the creative process and find inner peace.
4. Clarification of life goals: Visually representing the different “branches” of your life can help you gain clarity about what is important to you and where your energy goes.
In short, drawing a tree of life helps to gain insight into your personal growth, your connection with others and your life goals.
Your assignment for this question.
Make your own tree, by drawing or painting. And write down, what have you learned? Where are you? What have you achieved? What is your process? How rooted are you? What would you like to change? You can give it your own interpretation. Also ask someone else what they think of your tree. It was a special moment for me when I was working on this question and I had my drawing (see above) on the table, my husband walked by and said "I see balance". That exactly reflected how I stand in life; in balance and what I have worked so hard for for so many years. I couldn't have put it better myself.
The sentence 'that's the way I am' doesn't have to be a given. Remember that everything can change and growth is possible every day if you are open to change. And realize that much of your behavior is learned behavior; at school, through your parents and family, but also your friends or colleagues. Don't be too hard on yourself, you can't always help it that you react in a certain way. You've probably been doing that for a long time and haven't noticed or succeeded before. We are all conditioned by experiences and influences. That is sometimes hard work to change. And we all have bad habits that stand in the way of a better life. But we can achieve great results with small changes.
For example, I could be very bothered by the thoughts of other women. I got a certain gut feeling about someone and made a whole story out of it. Instead of leaving it with the other person, the story grew bigger and bigger and influenced my day (and night). I now immediately write down the thought and feeling that I get with it and in doing so I give it a place. In this way I ensure that I do not get caught up in the thoughts of others, but protect my antennas from negative influence. In this way I create space and peace, because it usually goes away by itself with time. The other person creates stories just as well; women's own, which I break through for myself in this way.
At the same time, I sometimes break off contacts or distance myself. On social media, I don't automatically add everyone and if I have a bad feeling about someone, I delete the contact. In the past, I often did that impulsively, which sometimes made me regret it. Then I suffered from insecure feelings, nowadays I often think about it carefully, sleep on it for a night and when I feel that I have it clear and also have no problem saying it out loud to that person, I know that I am standing firm. Symbolically with strong roots in the deep ground. I see this process as a tree that you sometimes have to prune. You can't always stay connected to everyone. Sometimes you have to prune in order to be able to grow again. And I also often experience that old contacts return, which are given space again by the pruning. About twenty years ago, my tree was almost completely pruned. I had not been back from abroad for long, which meant that our social circle was very small and I broke off contact with my entire family at the same time. About 50 people I grew up with are symbolically in the ground as roots, because they are part of who I have become, but have not had a visible place in my life for a long time. So I have a tree of life where little to no family has room (except my own family, daughters-in-law and some in-laws) but I have experienced that new people always come into my life. I experienced in the period that I ended up abroad as an expat that I make and maintain contacts very easily. So my tree is always growing. You have to do it yourself, contacts do not come by themselves, but everywhere there are nice people who can add something to your life, so that you are not alone. A tree of life is a snapshot, where, just like in nature, everything dies and grows again.
So when you look at your tree, what do you notice? Where can you prune and where can it grow? Invite a few contacts for lunch and have them bring someone. I also learned that as an expat. Abroad, you need each other and instead of waiting, you can also be of value to someone else.